The FasciaBlaster: the Cellulite Magic Wand (and All Your Other Aliments)

Dimples, dents, divots, lines, ripples, lumps, bumps, saddlebags, sagging skin, any which way you label it, it’s the one thing that no women wants to be caught dead wearing: Cellulite (with a Capital C).  But according to Ashley Black, self-described Fasciology guru and best-selling author of The Cellulite Myth: It’s Not Fat,It’s Fascia, the ban of women’s existence, Cellulite, doesn’t really exist at all.  "Fat is not what’s making everyone dimply and dented," states Black in her book.  "In fact, there is absolutely no chemical difference between the fat cells where you see Cellulite and the fat in any other area of the body"

Welcome to the world of Fascia, a portion of your body you’ve probably never heard of, but effects every aspect of your health.  Fascia is the head-to-toe, fingertip-to-fingertip, inside-to-out connective tissue.  It’s the spider webbing that keeps your brain in your skull, your muscles in line, and your organs where they’re supposed to be.  If we were able to peek inside our bodies and only see the Fascia, we would look like a human form of cotton candy with mummy-like bandages running throughout.  The entire Fascia system is connected in ONE piece like a 3D spider-web.  And when it’s tangled you get “knots” in your body aka Cellulite.

As a child, Black suffered from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and nearly died due to a staph infection ate the majority of her hip when she was in her 20s.  Her struggles with her body turned her into a “research-crazed guinea pig.”  She absorbed countless books and took courses on nutrition, anatomy, and physiology; and in the end, all roads led to Fascia.  Through years of dedication Black created her own science, Fasciology, and built up a list of celebrity clients include billionaires, professional athletes, and award winning actors.  

But Black couldn’t always be in the same city as her uber successful clients so she invented a magic wand, (aka a plastic rod with specifically shaped claws on it), later deemed the FasciaBlaster.  She handed the Blaster to a few choice pro-athlete clients, one whose girlfriend snagged the Blaster for her own personal use.   A few weeks later Black was approached by the girlfriend who noted that her Cellulite had disappeared with the use of the Blaster.  Three years later the $89 FasciaBlaster has exploded onto the market.  The waitlist for Black’s products in rumored to be in the thousands, her private Facebook group has 300,000 members making it one of the largest private FB groups in the world, her book The CelluliteMyth: It’s Not Fat, It’s Fascia, was an Amazon best seller before it was released, and her Instagram is full of before and after testimonies from her loyal customers). 

The concept is simple: Fascia connects practically everything in the body, so unhealthy, or “bound” Fascia can pull or bunch tissue and negatively affect circulation, nerves, muscles, and joints, which in turn can cause pain, headaches, fatigue, and that myth of Cellulite.  Because Fascia is everywhere in the body and because the blood and nerves run through it, Fascial care means not only circulatory and nervous system care, but also total body care  If you restore nerves, you restore movement and reduce pain. If you restore blood, you restore nutrients, oxygen, elastin and collagen to the skin.  “This means that when you restore your Fascial health, you restore your quality of life as well as the quality of your physical appearance.”

“We’re told that having Cellulite means we need to reduce our body fat, when in reality, it’s caused by Fascial distortions that pull down on the skin, creating those dents and divots we call Cellulite.  The appearance of the dimples is definitely very real, but the cause is different from what we’ve been told.  Once you realize that “Cellulite” is really Fascia distortion, you realize that you can sculpt your Fascia to decimate those “issue areas.  

So how does it work?  After an investment of Black’s FasciaBlaster you can get “Blasting.”  You heat up problem areas with exercise, sauna, or a heating pad, oil up the bare skin, and then briskly rub (aka Blast) them with the FasciaBlaster.  Blasting is done through moving the FasciaBlaster only up and down, side to side or diagonally (never in a circular motion as it creates more knots).  “Everything in the body wants to be smooth, aligned and parallel. When an injury or repeated poor movement pattern occurs, it causes the Fascia to tack into a shape it was never meant to take.  It’s sort of it like two pieces of fabric jaggedly sewn together.”

Be forewarned, you must be prepared for the ramifications, your body will bruise up and down as blood flow is restored in areas it had previously been blocked.  The bruising that you get from a FasciaBlaster is not the same as when you’re injured and have internal bleeding.  FasciaBlast-ing bruises are healthy, restorative, and cleansing, they also might last twice as long as a “normal” bruise.  These bruises are actually considered a badge of honor in the world of Blasters; Black’s blog is entitled “The News On The Bruise.”

The FasciaBlaster isn’t for everyone.  It takes dedication to Blast yourself day in and day out.  And the bruises are something you’ll come to either love or hate; a black and blue badge of courage or a something to cover up with shame and sweatpants.  That being said, here at Edible Skinny we’re devoted to our FasciaBlaster.  The changes to our skin, circulatory system, and yes our Cellulite have been remarkable in the 3 months we have been testing it out.  Most importantly, there has been a noticeable decrease in chronic back pain after Blasting our hip and lower back (FYI there were many many jaw dropping bruises during these three months).   

FasciaBlast-ing is both an art and a science, what works in one person might not be a perfect fit for the next.  But that’s holistic healing in a nutshell.  The FasciaBlaster altered the way our bodies looked, which is awesome.  But it also altered the way our bodies felt, which is even more awesome.  And the most awesome aspect of all, is that we now know so much more about the world of Fascia, of this element of our system that up until four months ago we’d never heard of.  All that and it got rid of our Cellulite! ;-) 

Kat Thomas is the Editor in Chief of Edible Skinny, a site dedicated to making your life postcard worthy. She is also the CEO of the creative media company This Way Adventures. You can find more about both brands at http://www.thiswayadventures.com